Just like that, the opportunity disappeared...

You may have noticed it got quiet on my end for a little while. It’s been an interesting, crazy and roller-coaster few months for me. I was extremely thankful to take some time off this summer to travel with my husband and three daughters. We started with a family reunion in Florida with 71 of our closest family members and then headed to Europe to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary, where we renewed our wedding vows on a tiny beach in Santorini.

After returning home renewed and relaxed, I dove straight into a new opportunity that had been getting momentum before I left. In fact, I had spent the previous six months exploring, researching, preparing and working on it.

It was a full-time, senior leadership position at a great personal development company and a chance to expand the work I'm currently doing in my own business, but at scale. As I considered the new role, I had to work through my own challenges about whether or not I wanted to work for a company again, and what it would mean for my life, family, and business. To be honest, it wasn’t what I was looking for right now in my life... but it was one of those things you just can't pass up.

I talked with my husband and girls. I thought about what changes I would need to make to my business and I figured out logistics for the kids’ schedules, even hiring someone to drive them to after school activities and organizing with grandparents so I could travel more, since headquarters were halfway across the country. By the end of August, I was spending upwards of forty hours a week on this new project. I had a clear picture of what we were going to create and had already built a strategic plan with my new-to-be colleagues to make it happen. I had traveled to their office on multiple occasions keep things moving. I was ready.

There was only one catch. This entire opportunity was hinging on an investment deal, which we thought was a done deal.

And then, just like that, it didn’t happen.

The day before I was supposed to jump on a plane and kick off the “official” first day with the team, it went sideways. The deal fell through. And the job opportunity went away with it. I was bummed... to say the least.

I had to remind myself that I wasn’t looking anyway, that I was genuinely happy, fulfilled and excited about my own business before this new thing came up. I brought myself back to my values, family and the fact that I was happy, really happy, with my life and career before this came into the picture. In fact, I had to talk myself into taking this opportunity in the first place!

But while I could logically justify everything that happened and that I was going to be just fine, my emotions told a different story. I tried to stay upbeat and positive, but I felt discouraged and let down. I’m one of those people who always sees the upside of everything. So, while my mind was very philosophical about the whole thing, “It wasn’t meant to happen, you weren't looking anyway, it’s better this way,” my body was drained of energy.

A good friend and fellow coach told me, "You need time to grieve.” She was right. So often we try to push through, move on and move forward, but we don’t fully acknowledge how we’re really feeling.

So I took her advice and gave myself time and space to feel and acknowledge my disappointment. For a period of time, this meant shorter working days and a strange lack of motivation. But I pushed myself to wake up for a morning hike or meditation to get my day started on the right foot, even when I didn’t feel like it. It wasn’t easy. It took self-discipline and energy to get out of the inertia of how I was feeling. If you've ever been in a position like that, I'm sure you know what I mean.

It did come in handy that I just happened to have built a process for times like these. :) So I followed my own advice and turned to the process I created:
5 Steps to Discover Your Next.

I started with Step 1: Take a step back.

This step is all about getting perspective and reflecting on where you are in your life, what you want and why that’s important to you.

I took time to reflect on why I had been so excited about this new opportunity: I loved working with a team again, the immense reach and opportunity for impact, creating strategy and building something significant.

I then looked at what I wanted at this time in my life and career. Did I really want to go work for a company full-time? Not really. I was reminded that I love what I do and want to continue to build my business, work with clients and write (lookout for a new article on self-discipline in a few weeks!). I also realized I needed to incorporate some of the things I discovered I was missing. This chance to reassess what I wanted and what was important to me, has helped me to start designing my next steps so I can continue to thrive.

So, if, like me, you’ve recently lost a job or opportunity, feel let down, are struggling to move forward or don’t know where to go next, maybe you can use this setback as a setup for your next opportunity.

Yes, you might also need the time (and permission) to grieve the pain, sadness, frustration, or emotions you’re feeling. Whether that means you sit on the couch and watch Netflix with a pint of ice cream, get lost in a book, have a string of lunch dates with friends, or sleep in a little longer. Go for it. Give yourself time to grieve.

But don’t let that grief stop you. Give yourself the space to let it all out, and then make the decision to move forward; resilient, stronger and armed with new insights and information.

Remember, this setback is your chance to step-back. Use this experience as a chance to reflect on what you want really want right now in your life, what you don’t want, and what’s important to you. There is always a next. You just have to go out and find (or create) it! You got this.

<<< P.S. If this has been helpful and you’d like to learn more about the 5 Steps To Discover Your Next process, please check out my online course.
For a limited time only, to accelerate your journey and support you through whatever challenges you're currently facing, I’m offering a free1:1 Coaching Call when you sign up for the online course by October 15th. We have less than three months left in the year. Get ready to start 2020 with vision, energy, and excitement knowing you’re on a path to happiness, fulfillment and success. >>>

Photo by Thomas Kelley on Unsplash